I know the goddamn industry like the back of my fucking hand. Been busting out reviews since forever, so I can tell if a site’s a limp dick or a handful of thick cocks in no time. I load this visit-x.net bitch and I’m like, alright, it’s all about German live shows.
Guess I gotta shove my ass into one of those live shows and fake like I understand the goddamn language. Whatever, I’ll just tip the horny hoes. That’s all they give a shit about anyway. You motherfuckers are getting the honest rundown on how visit-x.net works. Let’s get this shit rolling!
First things first
Naturally, the first thing I notice is the design. I dig the combo of black and red, like some BDSM dungeon vibe, and I like the simple logo. Nothing to cream your pants over, but it looks like the dickheads running visit-x.net know the importance of a good design. No ads to bother me, and I like that "anonymous telephone access" note. I guess we all want to stay anonymous while writing about pussy or writing to pussies. That’s some solid fucking shit right there.
Other than that, it's all pretty usual. The homepage shows the chicks who are currently online, with that green dot on top of it. It says 150 amateurs, so yeah, that pretty much tells you what to expect. Visit-x.net is not one of those giant live show joints and it surely doesn't show famous cunts and models. It's a raw place that's on its way up, and I sure am here to help the fuckers out.
Let's see what happens live
I spot this blonde cunt named DirtySquirty or some shit like that. In brackets, visit-x.net throws up the model’s age, which is a pretty damn cool detail. This squirt queen’s 32 and today’s her best motherfucking day! The day the famous BongVi crashes her show! Soak up that damn spotlight, bitch!
I click that shit and visit-x.net drags me straight to the babe’s info page. Looks like you’re gonna have to wait a few more goddamn minutes before I dive into the live show and jack off to this cunt for real. If I skip this bio shit now, I’ll forget all about it later when I’m rock hard, so yeah, maybe we should all tip our hats to visit-x.net for actually giving a fuck and being this damn detailed.
The page shows the chick’s got around 60 posts, about 5.6K followers, and a short bio. Turns out, this babe does pissing live. Well, shit, I kinda expected some kinky freakshow from this German shit. Call me a prick, but I know German hoes ain’t your soft little vanilla cunts. Those motherfuckers got this weird obsession with whips, piss, and other fucked-up shit, and I ain’t even mad about it. Hell, I’m here for that freaky shit!
Let's see what happens next
Well, the following happened. I wanted to join that live show, but visit-x.net slapped me with a signup form. That shit’s free, thank fuck. The only goddamn pain in the ass was waiting for the confirmation email which, surprise surprise, landed straight in my Spam folder. These motherfuckers clearly don’t realize they’re dealing with the world’s best goddamn website reviewer. Jumping through all these stupid hoops ain’t cool, but hey, at least signing up don’t cost you a dime.
I deal with that shit and try again, but then visit-x.net slaps me with a goddamn paywall. Alright, now it’s official! Visit-x.net is a fucking paysite that won’t let you near the tits and cocks unless you cough up some cash first. Maybe that’s not all bad. Usually, paid shows mean the shit’s better, more fucking sexy, and the quality ain’t total dogshit.
Things are starting to look up
All of a sudden, now that I’m a member, visit-x.net starts looking way better. There’s this damn coupon notification that won’t shut the fuck up and follows me around like a clingy cock, annoying the shit outta me, but once I learn to ignore that motherfucking pest, I actually see how diverse and solid visit-x.net really is. I ain’t bullshitting. Yeah, visit-x.net has its share of fucked-up shit, but the final goddamn product is worth the damn hassle.
You see, the first main menu option shows live shows. You click on that shit and all the hoes who are currently online show up on the homepage. At the top of the thumbnails, you'll find the most popular tags like anal, MILF, toy control, phone sex, and shit like that. Speaking of toys, yes, visit-x.net does promote the shit out of that interactive fuck toys deal. I say it's good shit too.
You also get this additional menu that's way more detailed. It's where you can choose between woman, man and trans, German, Spanish, Polish, hair color, origin, body shape and all other cool shit I tend to find on premium live show joints.
I don't really have to explain why these filters matter. I also don't think you need an explanation on why these live shows are fucking so damn popular. Unlike regular porn sites where you just jerk off watching dumbass videos, this is where you get to actually fucking interact with the hoes. It’s a whole different kind of dirty.
I think I've underestimated the joint
Now, visit-x.net is the perfect fucking example of how design can either jack your dick off or leave it limp as fuck. When I first loaded this motherfucker, it looked small and irrelevant with that weak 150 models online bullshit note. If I didn’t know better, I’d probably just scroll past this little cunt.
Might’ve never found out that visit-x.net is actually stuffed to the brim with exclusive porn videos. I’m talking about a crazy pile which holds around 140,000 private and exclusive xxx videos. That’s probably the biggest damn load of porn I’ve seen in weeks. Hell, maybe even this year, and that’s a hell of a compliment coming from me.
I see shit like a chick fucking some dude by a goddamn tractor, two lesbian hoes slobbering all over each other’s cunts, some girl prepping her ass for an anal pounding with whatever weird shit washes her intestines, a cosplay hoe fingering her own cunt like she’s rehearsing for a porno, and who the fuck knows what else is buried in this fuckin’ pile of filth. Just so you know, visit-x.net hooks its premium motherfuckers up with all kinds of deals and extra nasty content. Maybe it’s time we talk about prices, huh?
How much for this German filth
You'll have to pay 9.95 €/month if you want to become a VIP member of the site. All VIP members of visit-x.net gain access to the site's short clips, as well as 10 free messages a month. Yeah, just so you know, the hoes working for visit-x.net chat with their fans, do phone sex, live shows, and all that shit that should have been clear to you by now.
You could also gain access to the site's so-called Premium TV. The price of that shit is $4.99/per month. In general, the site lets its members join these late night shows, get notified when their favorite slut is online, as well as other bonus perks for the members. Just so you know, you have to top up your account with money if you want to tip the webcam hoes. It's just how it goes.
You know your dick deserves it
Visit-x.net has a couple of flaws like that annoying signup bullshit, the goddamn paywall slapping you in the face, and the damn coupon ad that won’t quit. It’s not the prettiest motherfucking site out there, and the language barrier can make you feel like a dumbass watching German chicks talk dirty you don’t understand. Plus, you gotta fork over some cash before you even get near the juicy shit.
The webcam hoes come in all shapes and colors, and, as you know, German porn tends to get kinky. Always been a fan. Always will be. On top of that, visit-x.net has around 140K exclusive porn videos. This is private shit you won’t find crawling around on your typical tube sites.
For less than ten euros a month, you get VIP access to clips, live chat, phone sex, and more. The Premium TV deal is cheap as hell, too, letting you catch late-night shows and alerts when your favorite sluts go live. Plus, tipping the hoes is easy once you load up your account.
Visit-x.net might make you jump through some hoops and slap your wallet around, but what you get in return is a wild, kinky shit that’s well worth the cash if you’re tired of boring cam sites. Give it a go!
