Whenever people fire up their laptops and go on the hunt for a European porn marathon, it's safe to say that there are a select few countries that are often sent to be pumped into the search engine of the chosen porn tube site, and those countries are either Germany or the Czech Republic. After all, it's not just beer that these two nations are so damn well known for.
Over the years, both Germany and the Czech Republic have been on a mission to be some of the most shining jewels in the crown of European porn, and to do so; they’ve carved out an infamous reputation for themselves by delivering us with some of the most eye-opening genres of porn imaginable. Naturally, though, there are a lot of porn fans who aren’t content with watching all of this debauchery through their screens and want to experience it for real instead.
Thankfully, the flight ticket to countries like Germany is often not that expensive, allowing them to get boots on the ground and go on the hunt for all the wild things they've seen on their laptop screen. However, while getting into Germany is often the easy bit, finding the kind of debauched experiences that they want often isn’t because they genuinely don't know where to begin!
Well, that's where I come in because I'm the kind of person who has explored every last sticky corner of nations like Germany, and I know all of the places to find some of the most debauched experiences imaginable. One of the best ways you can do so is by finding a reliable German escort platform to guide your way between the smooth and inviting thighs of a German whore or ten. In today's review, though, I want to see whether Kaufmich.com is one of them!
What is Kaufmich.com?
Kaufmich.com is a German platform whose name translates to ‘’Buy Me!’’ in English. It's a pretty fitting name because
this is a German escort site that pays you with a vivid selection of horny sex workers dotted in all four corners of Germany and allows you to easily reach out to them and make a booking when you find an escort you like the look of.
Across Kaufmich.com, one can find a pretty diverse selection of professional escorts, hobby whores who do it for fun, and pretty much everything in between. And by the latter, I mean everything from be-dicked transsexuals to gay escorts. Yep, this is a platform that tries to cover as many angles as I can when it comes to the needs of escort fans across Germany.
What are the German Hookers Like on Kaufmich.com?
To find out whether that latter statement is true or not, I decided to push deeper into the German escort portfolio that Kaufmich.com has to offer and get an idea of what kind of sex workers are looking to offer you some paid pussy through the site. Now, join me!
Little Sara - When I see a 19-year-old slut staring into the lens of a camera with a red lollipop in her mouth, I tend to do the right thing and book her for a four-hour fucking session! That's precisely the kind of thing you see when you arrive at the profile of a chick called Little Sara. Now, Sara is only 19 years old, but she looks as though she can melt a dick like the best of them, and she also has a string of positive customer reviews attesting to the fact that she is a filthy little whore in the bedroom and proudly confesses the fact to anyone who wants to hear it. She is super petite, and you can bend her into pretty much any sexual position you want. She must look downright incredible when she's wearing the 18+ schoolgirl outfit that she has wrapped around her perfect 18+ teen in her escort gallery. And if you think that she is innocent because of her age, just take a look at some of the things she offers, and you'll see that she'll do everything from pissing to deep throat in her escort meetings.
Berlin Bella - The next German escort on Kaufmich.com definitely isn't 19 years old. In fact, she is rapidly approaching her 60th birthday. However, she still has the kind of body that can make a man's dick beg for release within seconds of coming face-to-face with her, and she also has so much life experience behind her that you never really know what kind of porn-tier filth she's going to deliver you with in the bedroom. In her image gallery, you see her wearing some of the most expensive lingerie that money can buy, and there are even gorgeous close-up snaps of her panties that are visibly damp from her bubbling pussy that is aching for sex. Yep, if you've ever wanted to dive into bed with a proper German GILF slut then this is your chance to do so.
Domina Bella - No visit to Germany would be complete without at least sampling one of the country's infamous dominatrices, would it? This is where women like Domina Bella come to save the day because she is a middle-aged woman who has been involved in the world of female domination for about as long as she can remember. She looks downright incredible in a latex catsuit that is flanked by a long fur coat, not to mention sporting the kind of vicious look in her eyes that just gives away the fact that she will break your masculinity in the bedroom and have you screaming out your safe word like a little bitch!
Design of the Site
Kaufmich.com begins with a purple header bar where you'll find the ice-white logo that spells out the name of the site in fancy text, as well as a graphic of a pink Panther sitting on the left side of it. After this comes the main menu with links to places like the escort search engine, hooker agencies, and sex clubs, and a link to the on-site community. There's also a translation bar here to change the site’s language from German to English.
Kaufmich.com kicks off the homepage with a short piece of text introducing you to the site and telling you how it all works, as well as a sticker showing you that is the proud owner of one of the adult industry awards given out at the annual Venus Fair in Berlin. Underlining this is a selection of ten of the most popular German escorts currently on the site.
After this, Kaufmich.com split into two parts, with the first being a sidebar on the left-hand side of the site that contains a ton of features to narrow down your escort search according to stuff like age, body type, location, and services offered. After this, you'll see the escort search results on the right-hand side, and each featured sex worker comes with a profile picture, a stage name, an hourly rate, and a location.
What Do I Like Most About it?
I’ve visited some German escort platforms in the past and have been pretty disappointed by the somewhat lackluster selection of sex workers it has to offer. However, I can't say the same about Kaufmich.com because this is a formidable portfolio of German hookers that caters to pretty much every town and city across the country and won't leave you wanting for some hardcore pussy.
Seeing as Germany gets tons of foreign visitors every year, many of which are looking to experience all of the wild sexual magic they witnessed in their favorite German porn movies, I was glad to see that Kaufmich.com hadn't neglected to add a translation function to the top of the side that allows people to change the language from German into English. However, it could run a lot smoother, which I’ll talk more about shortly.
And while all of these escort profiles are great to look at, it doesn't count for much if you have to take the sex workers' word as gospel because, after all, it might not be 100% true. Thankfully, Kaufmich.com has some solid client reviews that allow you to see feedback from people who have dicked down the escort you have your eye on before and find out whether she's worth the hourly rate or not.
What I Don’t Like
As much as I love the fact that Kaufmich.com has added a translation menu to the top of the site, I wish I could say it ran smoothly as some of the pussies being sported by the sex workers on the platform. The reality is that the translation menu didn't always deploy at the right moment since you were sometimes left with escort profiles that were half German and half English, which is a bit of a pain in the ass.
Suggestions I Have for Kaufmich.com
I'm not sure what is going on with the translation menu on Kaufmich.com, but I'd suggest that the admin team get to work on fixing and ensuring that it runs smoothly and properly translates all of the text on the site, not just sections of it. After all, this could be a solid tool to open up the site to an international audience and bring all the benefits that come with it, so it shouldn't be underestimated.
Conclusion
While the translation man could do with some work, it can't be denied that Kaufmich.com is a solid sidekick for anyone looking to gallivant their way across Germany and stick their cock as many hardcore whores as they can or, alternatively, submit themselves to the infamous fury of a German dominatrix and have their masculinity stripped away.
