There are a lot of scenes that tend to stick in people's minds after they've seen the iconic Quentin Tarantino movie, Kill Bill. One of mine, however, is that aesthetic moment when Beatrix strolled through the airport, slammed some cash on the counter, and delivered the iconic line of, ‘’Okinawa. One way!’’ The reason I like it so much is that it's a scene I can really relate to!
You see, many moons ago when I had first lost control of a certain wanking session and ended up sinking 24 hours into a marathon of German porn that virtually took me from the infamous creampie orgy clubs of Nuremberg to the ominous fetish clubs of Berlin, I decided to say ‘’fuck it! I'm booking a one-way ticket to Germany to experience all of this gorgeous filth for real!’’
And that's exactly why I did but, fuck me, what a journey it was! I can vividly remember my newbie ass venturing through the naughtiest corners of Germany and finding out the hard way that this is a very kinky nation that is not for the faint hearted or the inexperienced. In turn, I decided to make it my mission to ensure that nobody goes into the kinky realms of Germany unprepared ever again!
How? By introducing people to the kind of one size fits all German porn collections that can give them a solid insight into all of the kinks going on in this country and help them understand what awaits them should they decide to fly out there and throw themselves head first into it in person. Today, it's time to see whether Noodlemagazine.com/video/german fits the bill!
What is Noodlemagazine.com/video/german?
The URL of Noodlemagazine.com/video/german somewhat tells you everything you need to know about this section of the notorious Noodle Magazine. However, if you're far too blazed out of your mind on hardcore porn to work it out, then let me help! This is a section of noodlemagazine.com where you’ll find all of their German categorised porn and it’s a place where you can watch it all for free!
What's the Porn Like on Noodlemagazine.com/video/german?
Noodlemagazine.com/video/german doesn't have the traditional pagination system in place that a lot of other porn tube sites are rocking these days and there's nothing to tell you how many XXX German videos are contained within.
However, let me tell you that there's a fuckin’ lot of smut within this site, and it can take you ages to make your way to the very bottom of its algorithm. However, it doesn't have to be a pain in the ass because I'm here to show you some of the most popular pieces of German filth to be found within!
Hot Arab Wife’s First Gangbang at a Sex Club - I wonder what the newly married husband of this gorgeous Arab woman thought when he put a ring on her finger. Perhaps he thought that she would be super sexually conservative, like a lot of other women are from the parts of the world that she hails from. Still, he was quickly taught a lesson when she demanded to be taken to a local German sex club for her honeymoon so that she could indulge in a wild bareback orgy while her hubby watches. Hey, it's cheaper than the fucking Maldives! Man, this girl might be an Arab but she has definitely adapted to the kinky German way of living because she welcomes every single dude in the club to slide into her slippery Middle Eastern pussy and fuck her bareback. Seriously, the cleanup after this orgy must've been downright insane because everyone dumps a load into her and there is cum all over the black and red furniture dotted around the club. She's downright perverted, and watching her saunter out of the club to take a cigarette break, drenched in sperm, is an aesthetic I'm all about!
Hairy German Mum in Glasses - Fuck, now this is what I call some proper retro German porn! This shit looks as though it's been filmed in an East German apartment block as a busty German MILF in her early 50s with some of the most gorgeous tits youve ever seen is put head-to-head with the enormous German sausage swinging around between the thighs of a 21-year-old man who is half her age. This old girl might be a little bit long in the tooth but that doesn't stop her from taking full advantage of the fact that she has one of the most aesthetic cocks she’s ever seen in her hands and she subjects this 18+ young buck to some of the most intensive sex of his life and really puts his bedroom stamina to the test while orgasming on his thick dick multiple times!
Birth Control at a German Dogging Spot - Dogging, the act of driving out to a quiet countryside park car park to indulge in anonymous sex with strangers, is a traditionally British pastime that has since spread to all four corners of Europe. The Germans tended to fall in love with this hobby quite a lot and the smoking hot blonde in this piece of German Dogging porn is a prime example. Now, this girl looks about as breedable as you can possibly get and she damn well knows it. This is why she has decided to embark upon an unconventional form of birth control by ensuring that every man who steps up to her BMW to fuck her bangs her up the ass instead of in her fertile pussy. Smart thinking!
Design of the Site
As far as porn tube site designs go, Noodlemagazine.com/video/german has definitely tried its best to run one of the most simple looking themes on the scene and it's one that a lot of its users definitely adore when it comes to being easy to use.
Noodlemagazine.com/video/german kicks off with the site’s instantly recognisable red and white logo which is then followed by a search engine and one which is underlined by a string of related content tags for you to expand your German porn searches, such as 18+ German teens, busty Nuremberg housewives, or Frankfurt gangbang clubs.
Then, you'll get into the bratwurst and sauerkraut of this German porn collection because you'll come face-to-face with all of the videos currently on offer within. Format-wise, these videos are presented to you via horizontal sets of four scenes, each coming with a thumbnail, title, user rating, duration, and a tag showing you whether you can watch it in high definition. Plus, you also get a short trailer that will kick in when you hover over the video's thumbnail.
Noodlemagazine.com/video/german has a unique pagination system in place where you can't see precisely how many German porn videos are contained within the collection and the only option available to use a button that reads ‘’Show more.’’ Towards the bottom of the site, though, you'll see a selection of trending content searches across Noodle Magazine itself, such as car sex, girls pissing, and stepmom and stepson sex. These are a few of my favourite thingssss!
What I Like Most About it
Noodlemagazine.com/video/german definitely delivers with its collection of German porn samples because
not only can you find some of the hottest new content to have hit the German porn industry recently but you can also find a glorious selection of retro filth from the country that goes back as far as the 1970s and both of them are just as wank worthy in their own way as each other.
And while the collection on Noodlemagazine.com/video/german is nothing short of being fucking enormous, I waspleasedy to see that the site hasn't neglected to put some thumbnail trailers in place on the videos so that you can see all of the dirty action taking place within the scenes without having to leave the search results page. Sweet!
For those people who are somewhat new to the whole genre of German porn, there's a lot of stuff to take in. Thankfully, Noodlemagazine.com/video/german has done a really good job of adding suggested search terms and niches to the top and bottom of its collection of smut to ensure that you are brought face-to-face with all the glorious sub-genres that are associated with the wild and constantly growing world of German porn.
What I Don’t Like
And now for what I wasn’t so keen on about the site! So, the only issue I found on Noodlemagazine.com/video/german was to do with the video titles because I found that many of them were either cut off just as they got juicy, or they were spelled out in Russian rather than German or English.
Suggestions I Have for Noodlemagazine.com/video/german
Yeah, I recommend that Noodlemagazine.com/video/german come up with a more consistent approach to the video titles and ensure that the character limit is expanded so that people can see the full title as it was meant to be viewed, rather than just a snippet of it. I'd also suggest maintaining one key language throughout the video portfolio rather than throwing a chaotic blend of English/German, and Russian titles at us.
Conclusion
Aside from the slightly annoying issue with the chaotic video titles in place, Noodlemagazine.com/video/german is otherwise a reliable collection of German porn samples that spans decades of content from the nation’s adult industry not to mention a fuck ton of different niches. It can be an excellent way for veterans of German porn and fresh faced newbies alike to slide balls/clit-deep into the genre!
