TPD in da motherfucking house! Welcome to another masterpiece made by yours truly, assholes! I'll be writing about southernsins.com today.
I still haven't loaded the page, so I don't know what that Southern Sins might mean, but I sure hope tits are involved. I’m praying for sweaty juggs, cowboy hats, and some barefoot bitch getting dicked behind a rusty tractor. The motherfucker just landed in my DMs, and I was like, what the hell. My fans deserve another review to beat their meat to, and here it fucking goes. 3, 2, 1… let’s fucking ride!
Life is a beach full of cunt and sand in your crack
Southernsins.com oozes that happy hippie fuck-me vibe.
Picture chicks high off mushrooms with braided hair and flowy dresses, getting railed in the grass while dandelions poke out their assholes. You know, long braids, flowy dresses, natural beauty and hairy cunts. Also, the moment I loaded southernsins.com, it all looked artsy and vanilla, sunny and glowing. It’s like some online beach bar where everyone’s sucking cock and sipping cum from coconut shells.
Yeah, the site says shit like Life Is A Beach, One Hot Summer, and You Deserve This. It's all fucking dandy and shit, but if you ask me, the most important note on the southernsins.com's homepage is Belongs To Adult Prime. That, my dear assholes, means that you'll get a shitload of bonus content as a member of southernsins.com.
It also means I'll have to deal with paywalls and that signature Adult Prime layout. I’ve wrestled with the Adult Prime network more times than your limp dick tried to rise during family dinner, so yeah, I know the drill. Let's get to it.
I recognize that Australian motherfucker
I know you think I’m some goddamn sex deity, and honestly, you’re not wrong. I am, but even divine motherfuckers like me scroll through social media and jerk off between posts. Yeah, I suck at memorizing names, especially when it comes to dude pornstars. I don’t care about the cocks doing the fucking unless they’re wrecking some tight cunt with style. Still, I fucking know that Australian Stirling motherfucker!
Yeah, I know that dick-swinging legend. Cooper’s one of those big-shot male pornstars who’s usually online teaching dudes how to fuck like champs and make chicks squirt without crying. This time, that dirty bastard is raw-dogging hotwives in swinging couples flicks. Sounds filthy. Looks even filthier.
Below that thumbnail, I catch a glimpse of a very hairy cunt. Looks like someone shoved a wig between her legs. No hate for pubes, don't get me wrong, but I want to tell you that southernsins.com promotes nothing but all-natural sluts. No fake tits and shit like that here.
I fucking told you that the vibe here is 70s! I see a lesbian action too, as well as a pair of oiled-up feet stroking a cock. I have to dig deeper to give you my final word, but so far, southernsins.com looks damn fine.
I know the damn drill
I already know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna click on one of these sunny thumbnails and southernsins.com is gonna redirect me to the Adult Prime's paywall. Seen that shit happen before. I don't mind because I know that the Sign Up page hides a juicy menu in its upper left corner. You'll find it too, and I suggest you click on that shit. You’ll see it. Don’t be a blind dickhead! Click that motherfucker. It's the best way to see what you get for your dough and what southernsins.com is all about.
I do the deed and Adult Prime hits me with the big guns right away. Damn, this is what makes a porn site a goddamn masterpiece! These motherfuckers shove numbers down your throat, so the only thing you wanna do is fucking pay.
I mean, look at this shit - 31888 videos, 29153 photo sets, and 30204 user clips. Sure, southernsins.com is way smaller than that, but once you pay, you unlock the whole xxx network. This could easily be the only paysite your cock ever needs, and that, my friends, is some serious fuckin’ value.
Southern Sins is in the site's studios list
I decided to play with Adult Prime and that's when I chose Southern Sins in its list of studios. That helps me realize that southernsins.com has 47 videos to show. Now, I know that Adult Prime does regular updates, but I can't tell you a lot about southernsins.com. Just 'cause this network drops new shit daily doesn’t mean they’re stuffing every studio’s cunt with new content every single goddamn day. They ain’t magic, so don’t bitch if the site ain't constantly squirting out. Got it? Good.
Let me shove this up your ass real clear! Just 'cause I said southernsins.com looks all sunny and vanilla on the surface, that doesn’t mean it ain’t dripping in kinky filth. Yeah, the chicks rock those barefoot, hippie bitch vibes, but that shit ain’t softcore. Don’t be fooled by the sunshine and dandelions in their buttholes.
If you remember that Stirling cock-hammer I mentioned earlier, that swingers fuckfest is pure goddamn filth. I talk about three couples getting their brains dicked out, assholes clapping, tongues in every hole. Zero vanilla! All raw fucking mayhem.
Another thing I noticed is that Southern Sins mostly hires Aussie pornstar. I snoop around and find Madison Missina and Daliah Amor in a lesbian scene. I expected subtle pussy licking, but southernsins.com managed to fucking surprise me with latex and high heels. The attached tags to this lezzi flick are femdom, fetish, fisting, spanking, and all kinds of other freaky shit that lets you know this ain’t no cuddly porn for limp dicks. You’re good, motherfucker. This site’s serving up hardcore filth.
How much for this mayhem
I'm not gonna lie and say that southernsins.com would be worth the money if it was a stand-alone website. I mean, 47 scenes is kinda alright if you’re jerking off once a week like a fucking nun, but the fact that the last scene dropped almost two goddamn years ago is straight-up limp dick bullshit. Dusty!
The good news is that you unlock so much shit by going VIP that you will never ever run out of porn. Just so you know, Adult Prime has its own live shows. You know how that shit works, so I don't want to bore you with the obvious.
About the prices. You'll have to pay $19.99/month for monthly access to the network. The annual plan is currently on a discount, and it's $4.99/month. In this case, you get 9 months for free, so yeah, hurry the fuck up. Finally, you have the lifetime VIP option priced at $299. Just so you know, the network supports crypto payments.
Before I move on to the conclusion, I want you to know that Adult Prime and southernsins.com offer nothing but high-end and exclusive porn. The network is a fucking behemoth featuring content from over 150 studios, so I don't have to tell you that it's diverse as fuck. Southernsins.com is only one small stash focused on natural Aussie bitches. Good shit.
I also want you to know that the company currently running Adult Prime has been in the biz since 1968. I fucking told you that someone here likes that 70s vibe! Woodstock orgy aesthetic! Yup, the site really knows what it's doing. This is a well-oiled fuck machine that’s been cranking since your dad was jacking off to magazines. If it was shit, it’d be dead. It ain’t. It’s alive, nasty, and fucking legendary!
You gotta love southernsins.com
Look, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this shit! Southernsins.com hasn’t dropped new scenes in almost two fucking years, and that’s lazy. Forty-seven videos ain’t gonna keep your dick hard for long if that was the whole goddamn site.
On the other hand, southernsins.com is just one tiny piece of the massive Adult Prime fuckfest. Pay for one, and you unlock a motherfucking porn empire with over 31,000 videos, 29,000 photo sets, and 30,000 user clips, live shows included.
Adult Prime is the porn motherlode that’ll keep your dick fat and your nights fucked up for good. If you want vanilla, go lick some ice cream. If you want the full-throttle, hairy, sweaty, goddamn dirty Aussie fuckfest plus a shitload more, you better sign the fuck up and get your ass in gear. You get nothing but high-end porn here, all created and collected by a joint that fucking slaps!
Southernsins.com alone might be a slow ride, but the network is a goddamn porn tsunami you don’t wanna miss. Pay up, jack off, and thank me later!
