Titti Porn! I was just reviewing a site about big boobies. Wasn’t happy about yet another one, but what can you do? I have to make the bank so chicks will want to sleep with me. Without the cash, my long penis might not be enough. I’d rather not risk it. While yes, this site is about big titties, TittiPorn is something much, much more special. Thank God, I don’t have to see chubsters anymore, for today at least. If it’s a site about big bazookas you know there are gonna be a lot of flabby women with beer bellies and cottage cheese on their thighs. But TittiPorn is run by one babe. She’s from Thailand and she has big boobs. That’s all you need to know about her to get your penis out while you strap in for this review. Even the Thailand part isn’t really relevant. But you get the idea, adorable girl with big boobies. My kind of style.
The best part is, she’s slim as fuck. And her breasts are natural. I’m never gonna get that. Please, a biologist, come in the chat. We need to chat about how this shit works. I’m very curious. How can it be that all the fat that a woman eats goes straight to her boobies and nothing in the stomach? I need to know, to use this information for my own personal needs. Like growing my cock. Or making a laboratory of clones that will only grow their boobies. The ass is not that important to me. It has no nipples so who gives a shit. Plus shit comes out of there. I ain’t no scat man. If you are, I mean good for you? But also go to therapy. And please don’t try to bang your doctor. I’ve tried to bang my dentist way too many times. It doesn’t work they’re really anally retentive. Something about morals doesn’t make sense to me but okay. So, back to the magnificent breasts. Who is this chick anyway and what’s her deal?
She Fucks Too
This chick does not share her name anywhere. It’s funny because I’d imagine she’d use some kind of cutesy or sexy stage name. But she literally calls herself TittiPorn. It’s such a broad term for such a niche thing. Kind of a stupid idea if you ask me. Tits are everywhere and well porn, is also everywhere. Maybe Titti is her name but it doesn’t matter, no one is gonna notice that when tits are the main stage here. She should take some notes from my dear love, Belle. You know exactly who I’m talking about. See, she’s recognizable even from her first name. And if you’re a dense fuck, I’m talking about Belle Delphine. She’s the epitome of someone smart acting as someone dumb. She knows what shit works. Remember the whole bathwater incident. I don’t think that was a fake-out at all. I think she actually took a bath and collected the water into jars. People were drinking the water and everything. Now that my dear lads is genius.
TittiPorn, learn a thing or two from the greatest. If you’re gonna market yourself, don’t have a weird name and all. And also, why oh why are there 100 free videos on Pornhub. Now, listen here you little shit. I’m talking to you now, the reader. There are 100 free videos of TittiPorn on Pornhub. Enjoy. See how easy it is to screw yourself in the ass? And not in the fun way. Why would I ever sub if the same stuff is available online and for free? Well, TittiPorn is young so she’s got a lot of learning to do. Ah, I forgot to mention that yes. She’s young as shit. Real tight bod. In the prime of her life. Hot ass, slim waist and that gap thing between her thighs. I know chicks care about having them but I don’t care that much personally. Still, it looks hot when it’s there. Thigh gap. That was the thing. The only reason I’d care is because I can stick my dick in there. Call it a thigh job. TittiPorn, lemme smash between your things. I know the whole point of your existence is the boobs but you’re fully hot so I want to suck on the nipples and plow away in that sweet pussy. Not undermining the tits though. Jesus, they’re something special. With dark nipples too. Not my preference but the chick is from Thailand so I’ll accept it.
They Have to Be Youthful
TittiPorn is really trying to push on the whole being young idea. They do that shit often. Independent creators and big companies all do it to get the most bucks they can. Can’t blame them. I’d much prefer 25 year old pussy over 35 year old pussy. It’s just how the monkey brain works. I don’t make the rules. One of the methods they use for getting a chick to look more youthful slapping some braces on her. If they make them pink it’s extra points. TittiPorn wears a pair, just like Belle. I’m pretty sure their teeth a good enough and don’t need dental intervention. And for this next part, get your tinfoil hats on. It’s time for some conspiracy theories. A lot of them turned out to be true so you never know. On a side note, go watch stuff about Bohemian Grove. But after you jizz once to TittiPorn. If you’ve made it this far into the review, she deserves one fap.
So, the youthful look, right? Youth comes with a lack of experience. All of her videos are very poor quality in terms of equipment. She has a site that I’m reviewing and uploads on a ton of more websites. So, I think she’s got money to burn, bathe in and wrap around her titties in a sensual way to arouse the capitalists and get even more cash from them. But with the low-quality shit, I’m getting signals that this is sort of underground. Like an Insta story or some shit that got secretly uploaded. Or young chaps that are having fun filming themselves. It’s more desirable because it feels dirtier. And it gives off vibes of someone that wants to make porn but isn’t experienced and they’re just starting. All look like tricks she’s doing. Which isn’t bad, but tricks can get you so far. At least the fucking is good. Even in low quality, it’s fucking you know? Nothing spectacular about it. But I can’t expect a one woman show from a youngster to be the same as giant companies. With how she’s doing right now, I think she’s gonna for far in the biz as an independent creator. Let’s hope she stays independent though. Some big boy mega boss CEO could pick her up at any moment and chew her out when she hits 30.
Independent My Ass
TittiPorn, you have disappointed me to hell and back.
It’s all marketed like she’s this sweet little lady that’s just getting in the biz and barely scraping by with the whole poor camera quality shit. See, I told you it was a trick. If you go to sign up, there they are. A calvary of other sites with Thai girls. I was so happy for TittiPorn and ready for a little fap session at the end of our little trip together through this review. I grew to like her. But it was all smoke and mirrors. Now I just want to take a nap and forget that most people just want cash for some tits and a piece of ass. Well, the other sites are stupid and everything is stupid and you are stupid. I saw the prices being sky high and was ready to congratulate her for sticking to her guns and asking for a whole bunch just because she’s special.
But nope, the prices are fucking ridiculous for no reason. Almost 200 bucks for a full year. No one, and I mean no one charges that much. Even the biggest porn sites that have millions of fans and oodles of traffic don’t charge that kind of money. So I don’t know where they get off for doing this shit. I’m sure as hell not gonna get off. Time to turn on my daily Belle Delphine content and forget about all of this. Oh, for a month, it’s 40 dollars. Are you kidding me? Kiss my naked, hairy sweaty ass.
