I pull up cosblay.com. Try to say that shit out loud and it sounds like someone tried to say cosplay mid-stroke. Like, what the fuck is that name?
Still, it kinda makes the corner of my mouth twitch. Not quite a smile, more like my face is wondering what the hell is going on. Whatever. I’m bored as fuck and this site’s getting a review. Who knows, sometimes the biggest piles of digital cockshit turn out to be full-blown gems. Let’s see if this motherfucker surprises me. Balls deep into cosblay.com we go!
Looks high-end and Asian
Thumbnails are fucking huge, hinting at the site's galleries, and the bitches are mostly Asian. It's all slapped against a dark background, and the main menu is highlighted in orange. So far, nothing annoys me.
It's all organic and posh, making cosblay.com look polished and elegant. Most of the chicks on the thumbnails are not even naked, so yeah, cosblay.com definitely has a thing for tasteful erotica and cosplay fairies. Almost like a classy whorehouse where they wipe down the poles between shifts.
I'm fucking stoked by the site's language bar. Finally, I don't have to rely on my dumbass translating tool! The bar gives you ten different languages, roughly speaking, Spanish, German, Russian, French, and so on, and all of this means that the motherfuckers running cosblay.com understand the importance of good user experience. They don't understand the importance of a good website name, but fuck it, nobody's perfect. Moving on.
Way bigger than I thought it would be
We are all here for cosplay, so naturally, the Cosplay category is what I check out first. I scroll all the way down the homepage and it says 1,173 pages. Really? No typo. I blink twice, do some quick dick math, and realize this motherfucker is packing over 37,000 goddamn picture galleries.
I fucking told you that the best sites often hide behind the stupidest of names! Cosblay.com sounds like a stroke victim mumbling “cosplay” with a dick down their throat, but this cunt of a site is fucking legendary. It’s so motherfucking massive, it’ll probably outlive my ass, your ass, and the last horny motherfucker on Earth still trying to beat his meat to cartoon whores in 2087.
This site is gonna keep pumping out pussy and spandex-clad sluts until I’m too old to jerk off and too blind to type, and when I finally croak, cosblay.com will still be here. One day, when the Sun finally blows its cosmic load and turns the whole goddamn solar system into fried chicken, this site will still be floating through space. There will be a fuckton of cosplay galleries swirling around like glittery tit posters in a galaxy-sized cum hurricane. Fucking insane!
I don't want to be a dick
I was about to bitch like a miserable cunt about the latest update being almost a goddamn month old. I mean, I could whine like a salty dickhead, but who the fuck am I to complain when this site’s already stuffed with more content than most assholes can handle in a lifetime? Yeah, fuck it. I’ll shut my motherfucking mouth.
Instead, I click on one of these galleries. I click on this Bunny Reiki bitch rocking black spandex and a fake gun in her hands. Looks cosplay to me.
That's when this cosblay.com sucker punches me with a goddamn redirect. Tries to throw me onto some cam site like I asked for live dick-sucking instead of gallery stroking. Fuck no! I ain’t falling for that bullshit! I came for this spandex-wrapped cunt and her fake plastic gun, and I’m holding onto her like my dick depends on it. Ain’t letting go till I see some skin or shoot a goddamn load!
The gallery is simple and mind-fucking-blowing at the same time. I don't get to see or download the entire gallery. Instead, I have to scroll down for the next picture like I'm reading a comic. On the other hand, the pictures are so damn crisp that it looks like the babe is in the room with me. I can feel her plastic ears stroking my balls, so yeah, nothing to complain about when it comes to the quality of the content. Moving on.
European photo albums
I was legit hyped to see what kind of Euro cunt stash this site had in store. Call me a picky motherfucker, but my Western dick’s got a taste, and it ain't shy about it. I load the so-called European Photo Album section, and all of a sudden, cosblay.com looks like a completely different site. I had to double-check I didn’t get cock-slapped into another site by accident, but nope, still dealing with cosblay.com.
This is where cosblay.com starts to show the number of images inside each gallery, and all of a sudden, the site starts feeling even bigger, if that's even possible. The truth is that this Euro stash holds around 10K image galleries in total. That’s a fat motherfucking number, no doubt, but it still gets dwarfed by the goddamn tsunami of Asian cosplay puss flooding the rest of this site.
It’s like when a bitch stares down my monster cock. I don’t care how many dicks she’s gagged on before, thick ones, long ones, veiny as fuck. Once she sees this megadick of mine, every other cock she’s ever taken fades into background noise. Same goddamn energy here. Cosblay.com’s Asian section is the mega cock. The Euro stuff is still hot, still fuckable, but it ain’t dropping jaws the same way. Just fucking saying.
A shitload of proper beauties and famous pornstars
It goes something like this - Jewelz Blue 112 photos, Elizabeth Netisa 123 photos, Angelika D Pyntura 120 photos, and so on. As you can see, cosblay.com sometimes shows pictures of famous pornstars, and sometimes they are nothing but talented hoes. In any case, all of the pictures come in superb resolution.
I have to say, though, that cosblay.com sometimes uploads shit that has nothing to do with cosplay. If you ask me, some of the Euro galleries here look more like they belong to MetArt than cosblay.com. Pretty cunts, yeah, but don’t piss on my face and tell me it’s anime rain. Just don’t.
As if it wasn't huge enough already
The site has another huge category. This time, it's about Asian chicks again and it's called Pure Beauty. This is where you get them cute fairies, cosplay and non-cosplay, but I'm not here to nitpick. You have to know that this category has over 18K image galleries to offer.
Also, I want you to understand that I'm talking about galleries when mentioning numbers here. When a site has 18K galleries, it means that it has maybe ten times more individual pictures, so yeah, wrap your head about that.
I also need you to understand that cosblay.com is huge beyond comprehension. It doesn't come with fine filters, and that makes the situation even worse. All I'm saying is that you'll have a hard time finding a picture gallery that gets you hard if you are picky about the content.
Sure, the site tries to make shit easier by slapping its popular posts into a separate stash, and yeah, that’s cute, but when a site gets this goddamn big, no amount of organizing is gonna tame this beast. It’s like trying to stuff a thousand raging cocks into one slut’s mouth.
This was fun
I’ll be the first motherfucker to admit it. Cosblay.com shocked the shit out of me. With a dumbass name like that, I expected some half-assed cosplay dump full of pixelated tits and broken dreams, but holy cunt, this beast came out swinging.
With over 37,000 goddamn galleries, you’d need a second dick and a lifetime supply of lube just to scratch the surface. Fucking insane!
Yeah, there’s some shit to bitch about, like no proper filters and the occasional bait-and-switch when you’re chasing down a spandex babe and get slapped with some cam whore ad instead. Some of the Euro galleries stray from the cosplay theme, and finding exactly what makes your dick twitch might take a little digging. On the other hand, when the pics hit, they hit. You get high-res pics that are fucking perfection. It’s all here in numbers so massive they make your dick feel small.
It’s free. Every last gallery. Every tight costume wedgie, every bunny-eared slut, every perfect set of tits posing with a fake weapon...it’s yours without spending a single cent. Yeah, cosblay.com might sound like a fucking joke, but the only punchline is your dick begging for mercy. This site’s a filthy, overwhelming, beautifully deranged cosplay kingdom, and I can't stop shooting my load in its honor. It's fucking awesome!
