Have you ever been to The Online Casino? I know it sounds like a vague, general question, but there’s a decent chance that a lot of you actually have gambled at this next joint. They’ve been around in some form or another since 1997, making them one of the oldest online casinos in the game. I mean, hell, the name alone is internet gold, the kind of domain that was gobbled up decades ago during the first goldrush of the world wide web. Oh, and speaking of goldrushes, how would you like to find one of your own?
TheOnlineCasino.com is exactly what it sounds like, and it’s one of the oldest online casinos in the business. They’ve been around long enough to see a whole generation of visitors grow from lonely sperm to legal-aged gamblers, and that longevity speaks volumes about the overall quality of the place. The platform has outlived AOL, MySpace and countless other seemingly rock-solid internet institutions, and today, I’ll be exploring the reasons they’re still pulling thousands of visitors a day. Without any further ado, let’s get playing!
(Almost) All Are Welcome at The Online Casino
One of the first things I did when I got to TheOnlineCasino today was dig into their Terms and Conditions to see if I was even allowed to play. I’ve reviewed a few online casinos lately that didn’t make it clear who can play and who can’t, but they’ve helpfully provided a full list here.
American players are golden, as are gamblers in most places, so you don’t have to fire up the VPN just yet. The bad news is that you’re not supposed to have an account if you live in Belgium, Costa Rica, Curacao, France, Germany, Netherlands, Netherlands Antilles, Switzerland or the UK. If you’re on the list, why not check out my full directory of Betting Sites here at ThePornDude?
There’s more good news on the way in, too. TheOnlineCasino.com offers a generous 500% welcome bonus up to $1,000. It’s become pretty standard for any online casino to boost your initial deposit, but that’s well above and beyond what I usually expect. There’s also a 200% welcome boost, a re-up bonus up to the same, a weekly casino rebate and a bonus for referring a friend. As always, make sure to check out the Promos page on any gambling site to make sure you’re cashing in wherever you can.
And how would you like to score those bonuses today? The Online Casino was ahead of the curve when it comes to banking, and they’ve kept up with modern trends. They’ve got a great set of banking options for both crypto and traditional currencies, with low minimums and high maximums. If you’re gambling with crypto, you can get started for five bucks, or go big with deposits up to a hundred K. Are we feeling like ballers today, fellas?
What Kind of Table Games Do You Play?
One of the only immediate downsides to TheOnlineCasino.com versus other online gambling dens is the fact that they don’t have a sportsbook. I feel like it’s kind of a strange omission given the platform’s longevity, as most of the older internet casinos that are still standing have expanded into sports gambling. At this stage of the game, I’m not sure they’ll ever roll it into the fun, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Anybody want to bet on when they launch a sportsbook?
In the meantime, I decided to start with some of the Featured Games listed at the top of the front page. Blackjack is a big fucking deal here, and they hype a few variations out front like single deck, American blackjack and Pirate 21. They’ve also got a fantastic selection of video poker games, which is strangely underrepresented on a lot of internet casinos.
They’ve got all the table games you expect from any good gambling spot, online or otherwise. The full list as of this writing includes 65 variations of classics like craps, roulette, and baccarat. Play some stud poker, stick around for some pai gow, and then take your pick of wheels to spin in search of treasure beyond your wildest fantasies.
I’m serious about picking your wheel, too. The Online Casino has no fewer than a dozen forms of roulette, and that’s before we even make our way to the Live Dealer room. One thing I really like about the setup here is how they stick the provider’s icon right on the thumbnail, so my fellow compulsive gamblers can skip right to their favorites. In case you’re new to the whole online casino thing, the games tend to come from the same handful of reputable companies, so you’ll see a lot of overlap from site to site. While that might sound like a bad thing to the uninitiated, it helps ensure fair games that pay out. If you ever find an online casino with a bunch of unrecognizable games and brands, run!
Getting Real with Live Dealers
Moving right along, I next checked out TheOnlineCasino’s spread of Live Dealer games.
They’re currently got around 50 games with real, live human dealers, and again, they’ve managed to cover all the bases you’d expect from a traditional brick and mortar den of iniquity. There’s a ton of blackjack, a bunch of roulette games, a huge handful of baccarat tables and some poker to round things out.
I like how so many of the games feature a thumbnail photo of the dealer, just in case you were hoping for a lovely lady with a big rack. Perhaps more useful, though, are the table limits. Some of them start really low, like 50 cents for Super Charged Roulette or a buck for regular live dealer roulette. If you want to go big, have at it with limitless blackjack at $10k or roulette 2 up to $12,500. Hey, the more you risk, the more you can potentially win.
Everyone understands the appeal of being able to interact with the dealer and other players, but that ain’t the only way The Online Casino’s live dealer games level up the realism. I’ve always loved that there are real decks in play versus a bunch of random number generators whirring away behind the scenes. If you’ve never tried it yet, give it a shot. You may see streaming in a whole different light, especially if you end up winning some cash.
Hitting the Slots at The Online Casino
If you’re looking for simplicity in gambling, don’t sleep on TheOnlineCasino’s selection of slots. They’ve got nearly 500 slots from major providers, again with those helpful icons in the corner for those who already have favorites. I do wish they offered some sort/filter options for finding your ideal fruit machine, because the current setup just has you wandering through a seemingly endless hall of flashing lights. Then again, I guess it is more like a traditional casino experience this way.
While the selection ain’t all that different from any well-stocked online casino, I do appreciate how they list the volatility before you start pulling that virtual lever. You’ve got your choice of gold-laden themes, badass characters and other motifs. Personally, I love the slots with pirates, cowboys and ancient treasures ripe for looting.
There are also a few dozen keno and scratch games. Cash Balloon, Rocket Launch and Touchdown Tycoon are among the latest offerings in this aisle, along with classics like Wild Bingo, Keno Draw and Lucky Wheel. As with the slots, volatility and providers are listed clearly to help you decide where to start. I’m about to play 1000 x Rush as soon as I wrap up this review, with multipliers up to, you guessed it, 1000.
While I’m a little disappointed TheOnlineCasino.com doesn’t offer sports betting, they’ve got basically everything else you could want in an online casino. Honestly, it has almost everything you could want in any casino, internet-based or otherwise. The hall of slots is lengthy and well-maintained, and they’ve got enough variations of the classic table games to keep all kinds of gamblers happy. The 500% welcome bonus might be the easiest reason to sign up, but there are thousands of reasons to stick around and keep winning money. So, what’s your game?
