Think real hard. Concentrate. You can bend the spoon with your mind young padawan. Look deep into yourself and find those IQ points that you were missing all this time. Yes, I know the weed and anime consumption has put your brain in a sous vide machine. It’s not easy, I understand. Well, not really. My brain is an omnipotent being, beaming with blue light and purple trails, spilling out of my ears because of its size. So, I’ll hold your hand through this, old padawan. What is CzechBangBus about? Eureka! You did it. I’m proud of you. A bunch of Chez people, banging in a bus. Why we needed this? I don’t know. Do we want this? I don’t know either. If I think about it too hard, then no, I don’t want this. But also, I won’t get hard if I start thinking. Imagine what it would be like to bang on a bus. It doesn’t sound too fun to me. All the dirty, broken seats that have leftover aromas of some old lady who carried too many onions in her paper bag. The feel of the torn leather rubbing against your bare body.
The thought of oh, so many old dudes who groped chicks from behind during a crowd. The sight of poop stained windows from when birds were flying to the East to migrate for the year. It’s all very arousing, is it not? But if you want to scrap my picturesque poetry, well firstly, fuck you. Secondly, yeah, it’s hot. There’s a reason this content exists. People want to bang on a bus but don’t have the opportunity to. It’s all because of those pesky kids and that law about public lewdness and public nudity. Those lawmakers have a bunch of very thick big sticks up their assholes. And I wish that wasn’t a metaphor, no, they’re just anally retentive. So, we have to make do with porn. I’ll be waiting by the door for a utopia where public sex is allowed. Do you know how many places I could have done it with a chick? Like, at least two. Maybe even three. I know I’m crazy. It’s not easy being a dog but you know what they say, it’s a doggy dog world.
No Rest for The Gangbangers
Did you expect Chez porn to be normal? Have you met a Chez person? They’re a very interesting bunch. The whole country is depressed as fuck and alcoholism is rampant. I wouldn’t expect any romantic, sensual, or in any way conventional porn to come out of their woods. They’re Balkan for Christ's Sake. It’s all about booze, cigarettes, and tracksuits over there. Imagine Russia but with much less power and capital. So, what are they to do except make porn that mirrors their way of living. Banging bitches on buses and lots of bukkake. There isn’t one video on CzechBangBus that includes a normal couple just sneakily doing it on the bus. Erase that image from your head of a muscly dude pulling up a pretty chick’s pink shirt and gently inserting his cock while they watch out for people who might want to peek. That reminds me, I just saw a couple fucking on the beach and getting caught by the police. It was not hot at all. They were probably doing deplorable amounts of drugs before they got there. The chick looked like something straight out of a horror movie. Plus, she was kind of fat.
With CzechBangBus you get to have the public sex fantasy but in a nice way because there are pornstars who are required to look decent enough for the camera. But as I said, this is not your regular porn. These decent looking chicks get railed by many, many men. Sometimes there’s just one chick in like 10 dudes, other times 2 chicks and even more dudes. It just grows exponentially. Who knows what their next project could be. Like a really big bus they found at the top of the bean stock with the help of Jack. There’s so much potential with a really big bus. You could fit even more dudes in there. Forget about fitting more chicks in, that would just be an orgy. What’s the point of that when the whole shebang on CzechBangBus is about gangbangs? No, no, you have to get creative with me here. One girl, 100 dudes. That’s doable. I saw a story once of a chick who had uhm…a stupid number of dudes in her vagina one day. She broke a Guinness record. Why there’s a record for that, I don’t know. I do beat her but am humble about it so I don’t take the crown, yes. And lastly, why is a beer company sponsoring possible multiple sexually transmitted diseases? I’m stumped on that one. Point is, someone did it, so could CzechBangBus. Especially since CzechBangBus are already heading that way. By the way, while many dudes are doing the chick at the back of the bus, one dude is driving it. Yep, the bus is in motion. Revolutionary concept.
One of Those
CzechBangBus is a part of some company that’s basically non-existent. It’s like smoke and mirrors with these people. There’s no clear indication of who’s the big boy head of this whole thing. At the bottom, there are links to countless other Chez sites. By countless, I mean 29. That’s a crazy amount of sites to be in cahoots with. And they’re all about Chez porn, a whole family under the ChezAV name. But it doesn’t end there. See, I’m something of a porn viewer myself. I don’t know if you know this about me but I like to be vulnerable and share my deepest interests and hobbies with my audience sometimes. There, now you know. I frequent pornography sites on a regular basis. I hope that hasn’t changed your view of me. That or the fact that I keep a gerbil in my socks. Multiple gerbils. That second part is a lie. I just saw a real fucking story of a dude actually named Mr. Pancake that was arrested for theft, they found him with several gerbils in his pants. I laughed my ass right off. Moving on.
Because I frequent these alleged pornography sites, I know how this shit works. The UI design is the same as another site that has butt fucking nothing to do with Chez porn of any kind. It’s about a nanobot who sneaks into people’s houses and records them having naughty time. So, this means that there’s a much bigger giant pulling all the strings. The whole CzechBangBus site is littered with links to other sites and barely displays their content. They share absolutely no information about what they have to offer. Not even how many videos there are, who the models are, and every other thing that’s necessary in the decision-making process. The decision being if you want to buy their shit or not. Fear not though, even if you pay, you won’t be free of ads. I know, I would miss the ads too, feels too bare without them.
Fun Content
The ad by the way is about a ghost screwing a chick in a hospital. The whole thing has an image of a ghostly figure circled in red. It’s quite the hoot if you ask me. But, let’s put the very interesting and distracting ad aside. Now, let’s carefully and methodically move the pile of shit to the side too. All the red flags can go in that basket over there. What we’re left with is good porn. It’s special because the concept is special. The concept lacks a few essential chromosomes.
All the dudes in these videos are jolly and smiling while they pile up on a skinny chick barely holding herself up because the bus is in fucking motion. Almost all of the people on the bus are naked. How they got away with this I have no clue.
You have to be a special kind of fucked country for this kind of shit to fly under the radar. Not once but enough times to make a site out of it. Except I don’t know how many videos are on the site since they don’t tell me and there might just be a few little breadcrumbs here and there. Oops, I accidentally spilled the bucket of shit and red flags on the floor. My bad. It’s really hard to avoid because of the stench. As fun as the videos are to watch, in the end, there’s other content like this on sites that I can in good conscience say that I trust.
